Big Sis 大姐頭

My dad stayed in the hospital more than a year and never came back home again. He died from uremia caused by diabetes when I was in the fifth grade. The medical care was not as good or as advanced as it is today.

I think my mom did love my dad. They got married because they met and fell in love.We can probably call them an “endangered species” especially back during that time when most marriages were arranged.My mom was living in the hospital with my dad. I saw her every four or five days. She’d come home, exhausted… and leave the next day.

We lived in a military community. My brother and I had our meals at uncle Kao’s, aunt Lee’s, or street venders…arranged at different places every week. The most terrifying thing was the Taiwanese people believed that ghost were everywhere and many of them were harmful…during that period. My memory is fading, but what I remember it was said these rumors of ghost were spread by communist China. Therefore, I had to tell my brother “Don’t be afraid, I am here.” everynight before we went to bed.

My brother was short and was bullied by other kids, I was always the one who took care of the bully, and I am tough! I am the big sister. I was much taller than my brother and all our friends until I suddenly realized one day that my brother was taller than I by a head. That was in high school. (I told people I am 170, but I am ONLY 169! HA!) Therefore, ever since I was a kid, at school, or even when I worked, I was always the “Big Sis”, this was how I grew up.

I don’t know how to be a younger sister and have never been spoiled until I met Mick. ( I’m pretty much sure that my parents spoiled me when I was a baby, I can tell from the pictures but I don’t remember at all.)He is the only one in the world who makes me feel loved, respected, spoiled. and secure. He doesn’t like me being called “Big sis”, for him ~ it doesn‘t sound good and ~ “you’re not their sister“. Moreover, here is what I always answer him: “It doesn’t matter what you think, people did/do call me that, and I don’t mind but sort of like it!”

So now you know why I’m the others’ Big sis, but his best friend, his younger sister, his lover, his daughter, his wife and sometimes his mom.